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Boom, shake the room, Fire Nation. JLD here and welcome to Entrepreneurs On Fire brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network with great shows like MarTech. Today, we'll be breaking down. The one question you must ask yourself today to drop these value bombs. I brought to Jenna Kutcher into EOFire studios, author of How Are you Really? and hosts of The Gold Digger Podcast. Jenna is a born and raised Minnesota wife, mother, and entrepreneur who aims for two things daily, helping others wake up to life and staying in comfy pants. She's helped thousands redefining success and chase bold dreams through her decade long work as a leading online personality and educator in today for our nation.

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We'll talk about why most people don't even think about the fact that they're unhappy with their life and what to do about that. We'll talk about inner peace and we'll ask the question, how are you really? And so much more when we get back from thanking our sponsors. Let's get real, let's talk. Roll by ADP. The first chat-based mobile payroll app designed for small businesses and startups. It makes running payroll as easy as sending a text visit, getroll.com/fire to get your first three months free. Business made simple hosted by Donald Miller, takes the mystery out of growing your business. Recent episodes, like how to attract and retain top talent and how to make more money with your current products are straight fire.

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Listen to business made simple wherever you get your podcasts. Jenna say what's up to Fire Nation and share something that you believe about becoming successful that most people disagree with.

1 (1m 44s):
Okay. So first off I've been an audience member of Fire Nation for years. So this is a dream come true. So let's not belittle that fact cause people would totally agree that this is an incredible opportunity. So one thing that people often disagree with is that when I set goals, I don't always use the whole smart framework. Instead. I really set goals around how I want something to feel, which isn't always quantifiable, but it is real. And so when I think about like, what does success look like? I reframe it and say, what should success feel like when I achieve something? And that's kind of how I move through life and entrepreneurship these days.

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So Fire Nation, first off, you can just tell what a generous giving soul Jenna is by sharing that at the top of the show. Number two, you can already tell what kind of value bomb she'll be dropping the rest of this episode. So tunings, this is going to be quick and sweet. This is going to be an episode. Word is going bang, bang, boom. But Jen, I want to say, thanks. Louis kind word has been great. Getting to know you and drew over the past couple of years at our Tony Robbins event. I know myself and Kate have always looked up to her, admire what you two have created, you know, having kids and still doing what you do. So the gratitude goes both ways as far as trailblazing. So I appreciate that. But as I mentioned, Fire Nation, we're talking about the one question you must ask yourself today.

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And I want to start off Jenna, by saying for years now, you've been one of the top business in marketing educators, not in America in the world. So why did you decide not to lean on that authority and influence that you've built up and just write a business book? Like most people were probably expecting.

1 (3m 29s):
Yeah. You know, it's so funny, John is, so the first time I wrote a manuscript and a draft, I did it without a book agent or a deal or a deadline for me. And like as a creative, like I consider myself an artist in a sense as an artist, I was like, if I'm going to write a book, I want to do it without a deadline, without money. I want to write words that tell not words that sell. And so the first version of my book was in fact, a business book. And what's really fascinating is that when I went through the formal process of publishing, my agent picked out chapters that had nothing to do with business. Because even when it was a business book, I was writing about things like body image and identity and wanting to do more than just one thing and being multi-passionate.

1 (4m 15s):
But essentially I took my photography career and widened the lens of the message and recognize that the mission was so much more beyond just entrepreneurship. It was really this philosophy of how to move through life and actually enjoy it and how to come home to yourself. And so what was really fun about it is I love business and strategy, but entrepreneurship isn't for everyone. And we know that right. We watched cycles of entrepreneurship, be born in cycles of entrepreneurs, be not in existence any longer. And so for me, entrepreneurship has been the vehicle of that life. But this philosophy isn't necessarily only reserved for entrepreneurs. It will serve entrepreneurs, but it can be widened to beyond that

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Fire Nation. It's only beginning and it's going to get deeper and more powerful specifically right now because I've always believed in the sad but true truism. Jenna there's so many people are living quiet lives of desperation, and you actually believe that most humans don't spend the necessary time to confront that scary little feeling that frankly, they're just unhappy with their life. Can you talk about this concept?

1 (5m 25s):
Yeah. You know, it's funny, there's a chapter in my book called my soul Shavasana. And if you've ever done yoga, you know, at the very end, you're invited to just lay on a mat and be still. And I used to talk about how, when I would go to a yoga class, I would check off exercise off of my box. And I couldn't, I just couldn't lay there. Like if it wouldn't have been rude, I would have just gotten up and gotten on with my day. And I think as entrepreneurs, we have these obsessive tendencies, which are incredible. It's our passion being lived out. It's so exciting. We're obsessed. We want to create, we get to work and we create these lives where we're constantly running, where our worth is measured by our output. And what's really fascinating is a lot of us are high achievers.

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I know for myself, I convinced myself, I'm not capable of getting quiet with myself. I just operate at a higher level. I don't require rest. Rest means quitting and I'm not a quitter. And the reality is, is a lot of times we take those obsessive tendencies and we get out of alignment in our life. We build these lives where we're not actually enjoying them. In fact, we're faking them. They might look good, but they don't feel good to be lived in. And we use gratitude as this way of staying stuck. We say, you know, I should be thankful. I should be thankful. Something's wrong with me that I'm not happy. Maybe I just need more. But in reality, maybe you're just not going after the right things or in a way that makes sense for you.

1 (6m 48s):
And so there's really this invitation because I think all of us have this deeper, knowing this, this intuition, this gut game happening in our lives. And we just ignore it because we're taking on all of this advice and this noise from the world. And so I really want to invite people like checking with yourself. It's like when your apple watch pings and it's like reminder to breathe and you've been breathing, but you haven't really taken a deep breath. And I think that's how we've been moving through life. Especially as entrepreneurs,

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Fire Nation. If you think Jenn is even close to done dropping value bombs, you got another thing coming. We'll be right back after thanking our sponsors. Roll by ADP is the first chat-based mobile payroll app designed for small businesses and startups. It makes doing payroll ridiculously easy. How easy put it this way? It's as easy as pulling up a podcast on your phone role takes on payroll tasks for you like automatically filing your payroll taxes as a small business owner, you're expected to do it all, but now you don't have to. You're a small business owner, not an accountant. So if you have a payroll question, just fire off a text and receive roles, 24 7 live support and step-by-step guidance role knows.

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So one of the many things I love about you and I actually experienced this in person, multiple times at the masterminds we were able to do at the different events that we've been out together. You're a very intentional person. You're willing to hold a mirror up to other people. Like not just yourself, like you do it for yourself, of course, but for other people as well, which you know, that kind of truth, that kind of realism, like everybody's kind of tiptoeing around each other most of the time, but it's so real. It's so helpful. It's helped me multiple times. And you're really like that in every facet of your life. And with this book project that you've been working on, it's no different. So can you share the story of how your book, how are you really?

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How did that come into existence?

1 (10m 13s):
Yeah, it's so crazy, John. So during the pandemic, we lived up in Northern, Northern, Northern Minnesota. So a town of 1200, two and a half hours away from a McDonald's or target and that this desolate town and it was my husband and my, it was our ten-year anniversary or wedding anniversary. And I booked us these massages and I promise this is getting to the point. This is the best. And I book us these massages and I show up to this place called loot Zen. And I go in there and the woman who is doing my massage says, hi, I'm Thea. I'm a intuitive healer. And I had no idea what that meant, but I just laid down on the table, got my rub down.

1 (10m 55s):
And afterwards she said, can I tell you what came up for you today? And I'm very open-minded so I'm like, sure, tell me what happened. And she said, there's something in your life that you need to do. And you know what it is, but you're avoiding it. And the minute she said that, I knew it was a book and it's crazy. Cause I want your listeners to pay attention to this line. And I want for them to even just close their eyes and to think with me here, there is something in your life that you need to do and you are not doing it. And you know what it is and I need you to go do it. And it was funny because I went home for my massage that day. And drew said, how was your massage? And I said, I'm going to write a book. And he's like, I am so confused. How of a Seuss or sorry, how a massage therapist told you that you need to write a book.

1 (11m 37s):
And what's really fascinating to me is as someone who is highly confident, who's a big achiever. It was almost like I needed somebody to just remind me that there are things in our lives that we know we need to do that we're avoiding. And that night it opened up a Google doc and I started typing and it was really just this tiny dose of permission. And this reminder of like, Hey, there are other things in your life that you've wanted to do or wanted to try. And when the time is right, man, it's a difference between force and flow and everything about this book. And even launching this book has just been the state of flow. And I think you can feel it. And so much of our life is like backed up by force.

1 (12m 18s):
And so I just want your listeners to think today, if there's something in their life that they needed to do and they're avoiding it, I want for them to think about like, how can you start taking tiny action? How can you open up that Google doc? How can you file for that, LLC? How can you start creating that product? Because it can totally change the trajectory of everything, including your life.

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From the moment I saw the title, I was like, I resonate with that because every interaction you have with people, it's like, oh, so how are you doing? Oh, I'm great. How are you? Like it's so automatic. Like, I'm great. I'm fine. Everything's good, blah, blah, blah. That's just kind of the facade that we all have to put on. And you know, the reality is we don't get to truth very often. And I mean, I can tell you firsthand Jenny, like, you know, this, I launched Entrepreneurs On Fire in 2012, I've interviewed over 3,600 entrepreneurs or the past decade. And I interviewed people who were like in 20 13, 15, 17, like whenever the time was. And I had a whole conversation with them about how awesome their life was about how awesome their business was. It was all sunshine, sunshine, and roses. But then guess what?

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I'd have them on for round two and like 16, 18, 20, whatever it might be. And they would go back, they'd be like, yeah, man, like last time I was on your show, I was in a dark place. Like my business was struggling. I was unhappy. I was depressed. And I'm like, wait a second. That is so the opposite of what you were sharing with me, with my audience, with the world. And that kind of sucks because you're in a sense it's like false advertising. You're leading people down a wrong path. You're saying your life is amazing. Cause I'm doing X, Y, and Z in business in life. But those things are actually making you unhappy, sat, unfulfilled, depressed, all these different things. So let's be Frank inner peace. It's a tricky concept these days. So can you share what it means to truly have peace?

1 (14m 3s):
Yes. Oh my gosh, John, I could not relate with what you just said more and here's, what's so fascinating to me too, is like, when people do that, then I'm like, how do we trust you now? How do I trust what you're saying is true? And I think so many people are literally moving through life. So out of alignment that they don't recognize the dichotomy of like presenting one person and being one person behind closed doors. And it's like, how do you feel about yourself when you're with yourself? That's peace to me. And for me it like if somebody asked me today, like how do you define success? It is literally moving through life with ease, with excitement, with peace, with energy, with vibrance and being excited about what you're about to do today.

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How you spend your days is how you spend your life. And for me, and here's where I want to encourage people is that we live in a culture these days. And why I think what you just said happened so often is because we want to show the highlight reel our lives have become these peer review journals where you're invited to show the best version of yourselves. Right? But for me, I have recognized this one thing that shifted everything for me, we lost a very, very close friend in a car accident years ago. And I remember when he passed away, I remember going to social media and just looking at everything he had ever posted. And I'm sure when he was posting that funny meme or that silly tweet, he didn't think that that would be his legacy.

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But what we share online is not just a highlight reel. It should be a real lives. It should be our legacy. We don't have scrapbooks anymore. Right? Like we don't create and do that in the way that passion iterations did. And so I recognize that like I want, when my Facebook memories pop up, I want to remember that that was that real moment. That was what my life felt like. That was how I was moving through it. And we are so obsessed with showing up as these perfect versions that we're missing these opportunities to connect with people through our imperfections, through the messy middles, through the insecurities. And so peace to me is really saying, I am here right now. I am present. I am awake to my life.

1 (16m 7s):
The good, the bad, the ugly. I am feeling my feelings, but I'm moving through my life with this ease without this level of force. And I feel like when you do that, it invites people on the journey with you. It is so much more inspirational, but it is also so much more sustainable for you in the pursuit of your dreams.

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I love your quotes. What we share should not be a highlight reel, but our real lives think about that Fire Nation. Now, Jenna, as we start to come to a close here, you're busy. You're an energetic, high-achieving entrepreneur. Not to mention a mom of two who runs five Ks and marathons. How does peace have a place in your life?

1 (16m 48s):
Yeah. You know, it's funny, John, because I was thinking about this the other day. Like my life has never been busier. Right. But in the busy-ness it's not lost. And the other day I was washing the dishes and I just took a moment to like breathe. And for me, like breath has just been this like constant, like connection. I've been learning a lot about like our nervous systems and even just like fight or flight responses and how our environment impacts how we move through our days. And I want to just invite you right now. If you're listening to this to just like take a deep breath, like a full fill your belly breath and like, feel yourself like feel being held by the earth right now.

1 (17m 29s):
And for me, peace and moving through that is these little tiny moments in my life. It's crossing the threshold and walking into a room and saying, I am here right now. It is sitting down at my laptop and saying, I'm here right now. I am present because when you are awake to your life, you don't miss it. You're not waiting for the finish line. You're not waiting for you are literally awake to the moment. And so invite peace in, even if it's just for a moment or a breath. But as you start to do that, you constantly come back to yourself. And the final thing I want to say is when you start to ask yourself, how are you really? How am I really, am I really enjoying my life from my faking it? Am I really showing up as the best version of myself?

1 (18m 10s):
Am I really deserving of going after my dreams? It becomes this part of your life, where you become addicted to checking in with yourself. It's not just this one and done it's this practices philosophy. And I really think that if you want more peace and ease in your life, that is the first place you have to start

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Fire Nation. I promise Jen and I did not collaborate. But one thing I do every January, Jenna, is I pick a word of the year and my word this year in January, I chose it and I announced it on our income reports was breathe. And actually one of you Fire Nation, one of my listeners sent me a custom crafted sign with that word on it. And it's now hanging in my office right now. I'm looking at it. It's pretty cool. And I think that is so important. So powerful. And you know, one thing that I've actually taken up over the past couple of years is I got a cold plunge. And I'll tell you, you need to practice breathing in a cold plunge. Otherwise you're just not gonna be able to stay in that thing. So I've really taken what I utilize within the cold plunge of my breathing exercises in the Wim Hoff exercises and taking it also outside of that to real life.

0 (19m 11s):
So powerful stuff on so many levels. And Jenna, I just want to have you answer the question for Fire Nation, who I know is with pen and paper, write or write down whatever, call to action. This is how can we get our hands on this book, How Are You, Really?

1 (19m 28s):
You can add to howareyoureally.com? We have links to all of the places, Amazon target Barnes and Noble, your local indie bookstore, wherever you're looking, you can search, how are you really anywhere or had to jennakutcher.com. And before we sign off, I will not let your editors edit this out. John, you have so many incredible guests, you create so much content. And I just want your listeners to know that while he makes this look easy, the work that John Lee Dumas does is anything, but, and I just want to acknowledge this show and the way that it shows up in other people's lives and the work that you do, because I don't think people do that enough.

1 (20m 9s):
My mom always says we don't ever recognize the ripple effects of our work. And I just want you to know that your ripple is me being here right here today, because I've been a listener of your show for so long. And I just want to say thank you for all of the work that you do in the way that you do it. So I just had to say that before

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I received that Jenna and Fire Nation, you can just see the kind of person that Jenna is to share something like that. And you Fire Nation are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And hello, you've been hanging out with JK in JLD today. So keep up that heat, head over to EOFire.com type Jenna and the search bar. The show notes page will pop up with all the links you need. howareyoureally.com is your direct call to action. Jenna, thank you for sharing your truth, your freedom, your life, your words with Fire Nation today, for that, we salute you and we will catch you on the flip side here. Amazing. Hey, Fire Nation today's value bomb content was brought to you by Jenna and Fire Nation.

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Successful entrepreneurs accomplish big goals. That's why I created the Freedom Journal to guide you in accomplishing your number one goal in a hundred days, and we're talking step-by-step so visit the freedomjournal.com and I'll catch you there, or I'll catch you on the flip side. Let's get real, let's talk. Roll by ADP, the first chat-based mobile payroll app designed for small businesses and startups. It makes running payroll as easy as sending a text visit, getroll.com/fire to get your first three months free. Business made simple hosted by Donald Miller, takes the mystery out of growing your business. Recent episodes, like how to attract and retain top talent and how to make more money with your current products are straight fire.

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Listen to business made simple wherever you get your podcasts.