0 (2s):
Lights that spark fire nation, JLD here with an audio master class on impacting millions with your personal story to drop these value bombs. I have brought Selena Soo on the mic. She is the creator of impacting millions as a publicity and marketing strategist. She helps visionary entrepreneurs, experts, and authors reach millions through publicity and win-win relationships and fire nation. You have a personal story. Selena is going to talk through how you can share your personal story to impact millions by telling you how she just recently shared her very, very personal and very intense story with the world.

0 (45s):
And man, I'm telling you, this is something that's going to inspire. You show you why it's so important to share your story. What happened to Selena after she shared the story, which is pretty crazy and so much more. When we get back from thanking our sponsors grow your business with online courses, by jumping into Thinkific five day course challenge today over five days, you'll hear from inspiring speakers, including myself who will walk you through the whole process. So you'll know exactly where you're headed. Sign up for this free challenge today at thinkific.com/fire that's THINKIFIC.com/fire, Selena Soo, my Palmas Del Mar sister.

0 (1m 27s):
Hope you're doing well today. And man, I just want to know a little more details. And I shared in the introduction with the fire nation about what exactly it is that you do.

1 (1m 37s):
Absolutely. So my biggest passion is getting more inspiring experts, entrepreneurs, and voices into the world. I think that, you know, so many people are looking for inspiration and there's nothing more powerful than somebody who is sharing, you know, an important message or personal story. So I love, you know, at this point I've helped many, many thousands of entrepreneurs get major publicity and get their stories out into the world.

0 (2m 3s):
You've inspired me a lot over the years in a number of different areas. There's one area recently that you've really inspired me and that is just honesty, openness, transparency. In fact, I'll share a real, real quick side note to that. Some of fire nation may already know about, cause I did release a podcast episode about it recently, which is I was on a live YouTube interview. And while it was on that live YouTube interview, just doing my best to drop some value bombs. Somebody came on in the chat of course, and called me a BloS artist and a fraud live. And it was a little surprising, you know, that someone would be so brash on a live show like that to make that comments, you know, usually they do that in the recordings when they can, you know, run and hide.

0 (2m 49s):
But I thought it was a very powerful conversation that we had as soon as that happened, where I talked about how hurt people hurt people. And it was really an eye-opener for a lot, my audience, because, you know, they just probably thought I could have gotten a lot of different directions with that, but the direction I took, it inspired a lot of people. And you have a story that you recently released that is like on an exponentially, a hundred X level of, of what I experienced on that little micro interview that I did. And it took courage. It took a lot of bravery and you just did it the right way. Can you tell us about that story that you recently released?

1 (3m 28s):
Absolutely. So the story recently released was how I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, even as a smart and successful women. And it was with someone who got romantically involved with me and eventually got inside my business and, you know, seem to have been taking a number of calculated moves to control me and control my business. And it was definitely one of the most, it was the most painful and challenging experience of my life. And it spanned over three year period because I was in the relationship for a year and a half. I left at one point and then I returned, which happens a lot when people are in abusive situations.

1 (4m 10s):
And, and then after, you know, finally extricating myself in a situation for good. I was harassed for a year and a half, you know, at one point my ex was, you know, incessantly messaging me. He had created 33 different phone numbers to send me text messages and contact me nonstop. And it was disrupting my work. I was having trouble sleeping, but I finally was able to break free from that situation. And, you know, once I felt like, okay, I feel safe now. Now I feel ready to share my story.

0 (4m 45s):
We've become very close friends over the past couple of years, living in Palmas Del Mar I mean, we see each other all the time and you came to me not too long ago and you shared this story and we talked about it and I asked you a question then that I'm going to ask you now, why is it so important for you to share this story with the world now?

1 (5m 8s):
Absolutely. So it's important because I think when sometimes people hear about abuse, they think that would never happen to me. You know, I'm too smart for that. Oh, I wouldn't let someone treat me like that. But the truth is people that are abusers they're master manipulators, and it can start out very small and subtle. And then it turns into a really big thing. So unfortunately many of us find ourselves in these situations, whether it's with a romantic partner, with a mentor, with a family member, with a boss, you know, w we are all susceptible to abuse, but the way that we can protect ourselves is by educating ourselves and really recognizing what those telltale signs are.

1 (5m 48s):
So we can stop ourselves from going down that path. And another important reason is a lot of times people don't think of verbal or emotional as abuse. We think, Oh, if I'm abused, that means I need to have a bruise. It needs to be something physical. And when I released my story, you know, people said to me, wow, now I'm realizing it's really making it clear that I do have some toxic and abusive relationships that I need to remove myself from. Other women have said things to me, like I have the same story, just different details. Some people are leaving their abusive situations right now. And even one woman told me that this story saved her life.

1 (6m 29s):
And so I'm just so committed to making sure more people read the story, because whether in an abusive situation or not, by reading someone else's story, it can also help you understand the mindset of someone going through this. And also how you can really support people in this situation.

0 (6m 45s):
Now, before we continue and talk about what happened after you shared the story specifically and get in to some details there, you did mention telltale signs. Can we dive a little bit deeper here? Like, what are some of these telltale signs that fire nation can, can hear from you? Somebody who's experienced this first person.

1 (7m 4s):
So when tell, tell sign is love bombing. It doesn't happen in every situation, but it happens a lot where you meet someone and you're like, wow, we've got this amazing connection and you are being flattered, or you're given lots of guests. And this person just makes you feel like you're the top of the world. And you have this really strong, emotional bond. Once you get hooked, then that's when the abuse starts happening. And one of the next steps is isolation where maybe this person is saying, you know, I don't trust these friends of yours. I don't trust your team or this person's saying this and that about you. And so they're trying to isolate you and then, you know, exert a form of control over you.

1 (7m 45s):
The other thing is they will go from praising you to then eventually like putting you down or making you feel like you're not enough, or that you need them. And it becomes very confusing because you're already emotionally hooked. So those are a couple of things that do happen, you know, in these relationships that we have to really keep our eyes open for

0 (8m 5s):
Love Bombing. I had never heard that phrase before. I mean, I always talk about dropping value bombs here on entrepreneurs, on fire, but I had never heard of the love bombing phrase, but I mean, when you described it, I'm like, Oh my God, that literally makes so much sense. And then the isolation, I mean, man, I have seen, and hat I've had friends who have been isolated and by the way, it's not just always meant to women. Like I've seen it with one of my best friends where she was doing this to him. And like, it was super obvious and he just became literally like a different person as a result. And luckily he did not end up with that person, but you know, that was happening like in front of my eyes. And then the praising you to putting you down like that transition right there.

0 (8m 47s):
That's something that is an absolute telltale sign. And I don't know if you've seen this Selena, but Kate and I literally, he's kind of pretty timely. Actually. We last night watched the Paris Hilton documentary for the first time it came out, I think in late 220. Yeah. It's on YouTube. It's a YouTube original. And it's crazy like a quote that she shared in some of her abusive relationships where she said, she's been at least five abusive relationships, but something that she said that, that might resonate with you a little bit is I thought that their anger proved how much they loved me, like when they were screaming and they were so mad and she actually had some bruises and some, some, you know, physical issues as well with some of these guys.

0 (9m 32s):
But she was just like, I literally thought that it was their anger that was proving to me. Well, of course they're mad. They're this mad. Cause they love me so much. If they didn't love me this much, then they wouldn't be mad. And like that's how she talked herself into it. So another kind of thing to think about, you know, when we're talking about these telltale signs, but Fire Nation, we're going to be really getting into details about what happened after Selena shared this story, as well as something significant that happened in her life, less than a week before the story was released, which honestly, like I don't even think that I know about. So, I mean, we're going to really be having some very interesting conversations when we get back from thanking ours sponsors in 2021, a truly diversified portfolio needs more than the traditional mix of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds.

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0 (11m 55s):
Plus Thinkific has an exclusive offer for you Fire Nation to join their free five day course challenge. Over the five days, you'll hear from inspiring speakers who have firsthand experience in building a thriving online course business, including myself, get ready to take all the guesswork out of getting started. One student who recently finished the challenge said, this is an excellent course. It keeps you moving and takes a lot of the intimidation and confusion out of the process. I would highly recommend this challenge sign up for this free challenge today at thinkific.com/fire that's THINKIFIC.com/fire, Selena we're back. And you shared the story it's immediately like just went over viral, a lot of comments, a lot of, you know, people sharing it and doing all these things.

0 (12m 42s):
It started a lot of conversations. What specifically happened after you shared this story?

1 (12m 48s):
Yeah. So after I shared this story, I heard from hundreds of people, including some men, some men even said, you know, I've been in this situation. In fact, you know, there is a huge stigma amount around men, you know, getting into these situations and it feels shameful. So that was one thing. But many, many women emailed me, including women that are trapped in these situations right now, but it feels difficult to get out because of financial considerations or marriage or children, and just the pure brainwashing that they've experienced. And a lot of people have also asked me how they can help. I think, you know, like they want to know how they can make the biggest difference.

1 (13m 28s):
And I think that the biggest way to make a difference is by sharing our stories or sharing someone else's story. You know, unfortunately there are people in my life right now who are in emotionally abusive situations. But I know from experience that if you tell someone in that situation, I can't believe you're doing this. You shouldn't leave him. That actually doesn't work, right? People need to come to that decision themselves. And the way that they come to that decision, one of the ways is by hearing someone else's story and realizing, I don't want to go all the way down that path. Okay. He's controlling. I made excuses, but wow. The things that, you know, Celine has access to her are the same things that my accessing to me or my, the person I'm with.

1 (14m 11s):
And unfortunately these abusive people seem to have a playbook. And I use a lot of the same phrases. Like you don't need, I don't need you, but you need me. You're nothing without me, no one could ever love you. You're difficult to date and so forth. And when you can see these things, you're like, wow, that's what's happening to me. And you know, I need to find the courage to end this or find a way out and heal myself.

0 (14m 35s):
What a creepy, sad playbook that is in listen, fire nation. If you're hearing those phrases or, you know, someone who's hearing those phrases, like they need to hear this episode. They need to know that this does happen. And there is a out. So I teased this a little bit before the break Selena. So I'm pretty curious myself. I mean, something significant happens in your life less than a week before your story was released. What the heck was that?

1 (15m 3s):
Yeah, so less than a week before my story was released, one of my dear friends, Laura Hames Franklin died in Bali and she had lived in New York. You know, for years we had spent so much time together and she was excited for this new adventure. And when she got to Bali, she, you know, became sick and there were medical complications. She didn't have the right care and she died. And it was really devastating to me because anyone that knows Laura knows that she's so full of life. She was the closest thing to a human Barry. I knew she was always dancing and sprinkling magic, and I'm just so full of joy and so full of life. And, you know, Laura's legacy is really how she chose to live her life and how she showed up so fully.

1 (15m 49s):
And so self-expressed, and so, you know, as I was about to release my story, I realized that, you know, what if I were to die tomorrow? I mean, unfortunately, you know, every day is not a guarantee, you know, in the age of COVID in the age of uncertainty that we live in and I wouldn't want to die with this story inside me because I knew that this is something that can really help people. And it's also a way of me liberating myself because when I was in that abusive situation, a way that I was controlled was, you know, being silenced, being isolated, being told that I can't talk to this person, him blowing up. If I were to share with anyone, you know, challenges that were happening in my life, in my relationship.

1 (16m 31s):
And so I knew that, you know, for me to make my biggest impact, I needed to get my story out into the world. And that was just a very powerful reminder.

0 (16m 39s):
I don't get goosebumps often in Puerto Rico, but your comments that's, I couldn't die with this story inside me. I mean, that really resonated with me and the fire nation. I really hope that resonated with you as well, because if you do have a story, if you do have a message, if you do have a mission, you know, you need to embark upon in this world, today's the day like literally to share the voice, to share the message, to share the story, to share your mission because tomorrow's not guaranteed. It is literally not guaranteed. And that being said, I mean, you're, you're a walking, living, breathing case, Selena of impacting millions. And you don't just impact millions with the latest tip on Instagram or how to get more clubhouse followers, or you know, how to do X, Y, or Z strategically.

0 (17m 28s):
Sometimes you impact millions by just being open, honest, transparent, and sharing a real raw, true story. And that's what you did so kudos to you for stepping up for, for entering that space and for absolutely impacting the lives of so many people that are hearing this message, this story right now on entrepreneurs, fire through the various channels that you shared it with. Absolutely magnificent what you're doing. And it's really on point and really on topic for what you have coming up this very month in regards to impacting millions. So talk to us about that.

1 (18m 7s):
Absolutely. So I'm really passionate about giving entrepreneurs, the tools that they need to spread their message. You know, if you have an important story that you want to release one day, or you have, you know, how powerful work that you want everyone to know about, I don't want that to just be, you know, for you to keep that inside of you or for just a handful of people to know about it, how do we get hundreds, thousands, even millions, right? Paying attention to your work and your story. And so I put together this three-part video series, the impacting millions publicity series, and they are three short videos that will show you how to get publicity, but you can really amplify your message, get it, you know, wherever you want to get it out there, whether it is on podcasts, magazines, TV, websites, other influencers, and experts spreading your message.

1 (18m 52s):
And so with those three videos, I have three free gifts. The first video comes with a list of 200 media outlets because a lot of people say to me, Selena, I don't even know where to share my story or where to get my work out to. So that's going to get your ideas, your wheels, turning specific places where you can be seen this year. You will also get a second gift with the next video, which is a 12 month publicity calendar. So every single month you can look at that calendar and get, you know, dozens and dozens of ideas and special dates and hubs and ways to position yourself. So you get into the media right now, and then last but not least, you will get a seven step publicity action plans that you're really maximizing your media because it's not just about getting the media opportunity.

1 (19m 37s):
It's how do you prepare for the opportunity? How do you leverage it so that this turns into new clients and customers. So you get all of that when you go to EOFire.com/impact. And when you sign up for the video series, you'll also have a chance to enter, to win an all expenses paid trip to Puerto Rico, because I would love to personally connect to you and to provide you with mentoring and also introduce you to some of my entrepreneur friends. So one lucky winner is going to win a paid trip to beautiful Puerto Rico and also be invited to an entrepreneur's dinner party. And of course I will be extending that invitation to JLD and my other amazing friends for as all to hang out together.

0 (20m 17s):
I mean, I want the winner of this contest to be one of you Fire Nation, somebody listening to this podcast episode. So come on, enter to win a chance to come down to Puerto Rico. I mean, I'm, I'm pre accepting Selena's invite. So, I mean, it's already happening. If it's somebody in fire nation, I am at that dinner 100%. You can count on that and guess what, it's free. And you're going to get unbelievably immense amounts of value for doing it. EOFire.com/impact. IMPACT impact EOFire.com/impact. You're going to get those three video series that are full of value.

0 (20m 59s):
All three of those amazing additional bonuses that Selena mentioned with each video comes included. You got to get on a fire nation. This is the type of content you need to be consuming. You need to be taking advantage of when it comes to spreading your message, your mission, your voice, your impact with the world. So Selena, I just want to say thank you for sharing your truth, your knowledge, your value with fire nation. Once again, today for that, we are saluting you and we'll catch you on the flip side, grow your business with online courses, by jumping into Thinkific five day course challenge. Today over five days, you'll hear from inspiring speakers, including myself who will walk you through the whole process.

0 (21m 41s):
So you'll know exactly where you're headed. Sign up for this free challenge today at thinkific.com/fire that's T H I N K I F I C.com/fire.